How to Squash Envy, and Stay Focused on Your Journey

March 28, 2012
By

It happens to us all. When a peer or friend has a great moment in their careers, businesses or personal lives, sometimes, that ol’ green-eyed monster creeps in, and we begin to feel envious.

Because successful people generally surround themselves with other successful people, there will be many great moments and high points that occur during one’s life. And because successful people are constantly challenging themselves (particularly when they see others doing well), it can be easy for envy to rear its ugly head sometimes. However, there’s a difference between being happy for someone and a little envious because you haven’t reached a certain milestone yet and being a hater (i.e., a jealous person) who lets those thoughts fester and turn into negativity, insecurity and even conflict. A confident person who is secure in their purpose and abilities will recognize the thoughts, “nip them in the bud and keep it moving on their path to success.”

Check out five ways Janelle Hazelwood squashes jealousy (from her article on BlackEnterprise.com):

  1. Realize that you’re human, and recognize the feelings for what they are. Janelle says that many times, the motive behind this is either insecurity because of something she could be doing better, or it could be that her time is coming — only not right now.
  2. Identify and/or remind yourself about the things you’ve achieved and your fabulous uniqueness. Do this instead of focusing on what the next woman has going on. Make the most of the talents and skills you have, and focus on your journey to greatness.
  3. Keep in mind the standard of success you’ve set for yourself. Are you determining your life’s success on other’s people success or how they live their lives? If so, you’ve already lost. Yes, your friend may have received this really great feature in a top magazine, but that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or less deserving. Create a plan, and accomplish your goals in your time. What’s for them is for them, and what’s for you is for you.
  4. Turn the envy into fuel for motivation. Now, don’t make everything a competition between your friends and peers (it’s not good for morale or for a long period of time); however, it can be nice to think of it as that little boost to help you step your game up.
  5. Identify the lesson and ‘power of positive reciprocity.’ Nothing good can come from always being envious of someone. Not only does it drain you, it’s self-defeating. But, when you give out positive energy — by being happy for someone’s success or just providing encouragement– you plant seeds for great things to happen in your own life!

By focusing on your own success and achieving your goals, you won’t have the time or energy to be envious of anyone. Focus on you!

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Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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  • http://tamykawashington.com Tamyka Washington

    These are great tips. I think when you are confident in yourself and truly know yourself and are walking in your purpose, its difficult to become envious or even jealous of others.

  • http://www.Allied-Women.com Kari Day

    Great topic Jamie! I wholeheartedly agree with what Tamyka said in her comment. I most identify with your point #2 – It is vital that we see ourselves as unique. And offer our services from that unique perspective.

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