2011 has had its ups and downs, of course, but I must say that the good outweighed the bad. Some of the highlights of this year were getting married (obviously), co-hosting my first teleconference, starting my Blog Talk Radio Show, getting to interview some great people (including A’lelia Bundles and Kimberla Lawson Roby) and publishing my first e-book!

I’ve also learned many lessons this year. I think the biggest ones were to trust God for EVERYTHING, that with God, all things are possible and that when God gives you a vision and a purpose, you must move forward, no matter how scared and anxious you may be.

Overall, 2011 was fabulous, and I’m so excited about what 2012 will bring! And I wish you all a Joyous, Prosperous and Amazing 2012 where you make all your dreams come true!!  : – )

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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Anyhoo, I wanted to share an excerpt from the chapter entitled “Getting Rid of Limiting Beliefs.” I hope you enjoy it!

Do you really know how powerful your mind is?  Whatever you say to and about yourself will eventually come to pass.  It’s even in the Bible: “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…” Proverbs 23:7 (KJV).  What thoughts are you thinking?

I’m going to be real: Right around the time I began writing this, I was having some limiting beliefs myself.  I know that my purpose is to motivate and empower women, but my thoughts were: How am I going to make this work?  I don’t even really know how, exactly, to do this.  What if people think that what I’m doing is dumb?  What if I completely fail at this?

There I was, thinking with a limited mindset.  And after some self-reflection, I discovered that one of the reasons I had limiting beliefs was that I was afraid to really pursue my purpose.  But with praying, journaling and positive affirmations, I re-realized that I can do anything as long as I trust God, allow myself to believe that I can do anything and remember that He didn’t place my desires in me with no way to make them happen.

In addition to my affirmations, I have two quotes that I always recite when I feel those limiting beliefs returning:

“Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says ‘I’m possible!’” ~ Audrey Hepburn

“Feel the fear, and do it anyway.” ~ Susan Jeffers (This is also the motto I live by).

I believe that if you’re walking in your purpose, if you believe in yourself and God, and if you do what you need to do (in other words, do your part by taking action), anything can and will happen!

Want to read more?  Get your copy of “How to Change Your Mindset + Live Your Most Fabulous Life” today!

[Photo Credit]

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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My Story

Me- Last Summer

I’ve always been on the thin side. Now, you may be thinking, “I wish I had always been thin; I definitely wouldn’t have a problem with that.” Because, of course, to most of mainstream America, being thin is the ideal, something to strive for. But, for me, as a black girl/woman, being thin is not the ideal. Although I love my body right now, it took me years to get here.

My desire to be thick (i.e., curvy) began in high school, the time when many of our body issues begin. People would act like being thin and black didn’t go together, and I would constantly get comments about my weight like, “Oh my God! You’re soooo skinny!” or “You need to eat!,” or people would ask, “Do you eat?” (And to this day, I still get comments). As you can probably guess, this got really old after a while. And on top of the comments, it seemed like the majority of black guys like(d) thick, curvy girls, and this was, and still is, a constant message in rap and hip-hop. So, needless to say, I began to feel insecure and inadequate. I wanted to be thick and curvy like a “normal” black girl, not because I hated myself, but mainly because I wanted to feel like I was “black enough” (whatever that means), and honestly, I wanted boys to find me attractive. I figured that I would get my body when I got to college (you know, the whole freshmen 15 thing). Well, that didn’t exactly happen. I did ultimately gain about 10 pounds, but it took me four years to do so.

I think the light bulb came on for me when I was a freshman in college. This guy told me, “You would be a dime (i.e., a 10) if you were thick.” I’ll never forget that. I think him saying that to me made me pause and actually think about why I wanted to gain weight. Was I doing it because I wanted to feel better about myself and my looks? Or was I doing it because I wanted to feel validated and wanted the approval of other people? I realized that I didn’t want to be thick because I truly wanted to; I wanted to be thick because I wanted other people to approve of how I looked. It honestly didn’t bother me to be thin because I thought I was pretty, that my body was, at the very least, decent and hey, I could eat whatever I wanted. I just wanted people to see me as an authentic, sexy, attractive black woman. But, I now know that black women come in all shapes and sizes, and that’s freakin’ fantastic! I’m not less black because I only have a few curves, and she’s not more black because she looks like a video vixen. I learned that if a guy doesn’t want to be with me because I’m not thick, then he’s obviously not the guy for me because I am much more than my body. I also learned that my body is amazing just because of what it can do: It gets me around, it allows me to work, hug, etc. And the most important lesson I learned is that I’m sexy/beautiful/gorgeous in my own unique way — and you are, too!

So, ladies, let’s forget about what society says is the “perfect” body, what men, other women or anyone else says. We have to know for ourselves that we are beautiful — and perfect and amazing– right now, just the way we are.

And in the words of Christina Aguilera: … “We are beautiful, no matter what they say…We are beautiful in every single way.”

This post is a part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival.

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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For the past few months, I think God has really been testing and stretching my faith in Him. I’ve needed money for certain things in my life. Not only am I getting married in about a month, my fiancè and I have to get a place to live, and we each have our own expenses to take care of. Me being the person I am (somewhat of an impatient control freak– I’m working on it), I was stressing myself out about everything. In my mind, I know that God is working things out and that things will fall into place (because they always do), but I still tend to freak out a little because I feel like there are some things I can do to help God and speed up the process. Of course, there’s really nothing I can do– and I know this– but I still try anyway (lol!).

Fortunately, I’m learning (still) that after I’ve done what I can do (whether it’s promoting my business or blog, networking, following up, etc.), I just have to trust God to make everything right in His time. Trust me, I know how difficult it is to wait on Him, but it’s necessary; I mean, what other choice do you have. Sometimes, when I’m complaining talking to God about what I need Him to do, a simple three, word sentence pops into my head (I like to think of it as His reply): I got you. While I’m learning to completely trust Him, I think He’s trying to tell me that even if I am an impatient control freak, there’s really nothing I can do but wait on Him. I can either trust Him, do what I need to do, go with the flow and be at peace, knowing He’s working it out. Or, I can have limited faith, freak out, give myself a migraine or panic attack, and be a nervous wreck. It doesn’t really matter which one I decide to do because things are still going to happen on His time. And thankfully, I’m getting to the point where I can go with the flow and trust.

Yesterday, one of my Facebook friends (and one of FCG’s Successful Sistas), Gabbie McGee had a status that really spoke to my situation:

But it’s for our good that YOU respond
In Your Time FATHER, not in ours
For if you didn’t– we’d stay as infants
Getting everything right now

For us to grow more CHRIST-like
We need to learn to wait
For often that’s the answer to prayer
And builds us up in faith.

PRAY. WAIT. TRUST.

Because that’s all we really can do : )

[Photo Credit]

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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I am a control freak. I admit it. I like for every hour of my day to be scheduled, and I like to know what’s going to happen and how it will happen. Even if I’m going somewhere with my fiancé (who’s more laid back), and he doesn’t give me all the details, I ask: Where are we going? Why? How long will we be there? Sad, I know lol.

I try to do God the same way. Like, I know that He is working things out, but I want to know when, and more importantly, I want to know HOW! And instead of just waiting for Him to work it out however He will, I try to take matters into my own hands by attempting to work it out myself (like that would even work) or worrying about how it will (because I can’t really see how it will work out).

What I’m beginning to realize is that it’s not my job to figure out how. If I ask God to do something in my life, and I have faith and trust that He will do it, I need to let Him do his thing. Trust me, it took me a long time to get to this point, and I still struggle with it occasionally. But, I look at it like this: He’s God, so obviously, He knows what He’s doing. And He’s worked out every other situation in my life with no help from me, so I’m pretty sure He can handle everything else, too.

No, I might not know how I’m going to get my next client, and you may not know how that bill is going to get paid, but if we ask God to handle it, we gotta trust that He’s gonna work it out. Stay focused on doing what you can to make your situation better, and allow God to figure out the how– trust me, it’ll make your life a lot easier and less stressful. : )

How did you learn to let God handle the how?

[Photo Credit]

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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My friends and me on my b-day!

As I’m sure you all know by now, I turned 25 last Saturday! Since this is a milestone age (or at least it is for me), I decided to do a little reflecting.

While my life is far from perfect right now, I have to say that I’m happy with the way things are going. But, I never imagined my life would be like this at 25. When I was a teenager, I thought that I would be living in some big city, working in Corporate America and being a “career woman” (i.e., no hubby and no kids– because marriage wasn’t necessarily something I wanted back then, and I am not wasn’t that fond of kids). Fast forward to now: I live in my (small) hometown and about to move to a slightly bigger city. I’m an entrepreneur/blogger working at home who’s engaged to be married in less than four months (what?!). So, yeah, I definitely don’t think I could have planned my life turning out like this…

This is the age where you’re supposed to have your quarter-life crisis (the time you don’t know what the heck is going on with your life), but I think I had mine last year. And I’m so glad that’s over and done with. But, I’m happy to say that those experiences taught me a lot in the past year:

• I have to believe in myself, know that I can do all things through Christ and believe in my purpose/vision, even when nobody else can see it.
• There is no point in worrying about things I can’t control (although it took me literally a year to learn this).
• I cannot control other people.
• I don’t have to let everybody know what I’m doing and what I have going on career-wise (even if they seem to ask genuinely). A lot of people don’t know how to respond to people with high ambitions because they have a limited mindsets.
• A lot of people can’t believe in me and believe that I will succeed because they feel they can’t reach their goals. I can’t take that personally.  
• I need to meditate at some point during the day. If I don’t, I just won’t be ‘right.’
• I don’t have to compare myself to anyone else because what’s for me is for me! And no one can take that away.
• Being patient is extremely difficult for me, but I have gotten better at it.
• I have to do what’s best for me– always.
• I’m a rockstar!!
• One of the most important things I’ve learned can be summed up in this quote: “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

I am so looking forward to bigger and better things this year. Woohoo!! : )

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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Check out my final video:

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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This day is a way for women around the world to celebrate sisterhood and to encourage women to do something extra special for their besties in honor of this day. And as a part of this day, ESSENCE is also celebrating the launch of its first-ever “Girlfriends Issue” dedicated to friendships.

Also, on their site, they have an article, 40 Reasons Why We Love Our Girlfriends; so, I decided to write a post about why I love my three girlfriends:

Brittany, Kiera and Me

• The always make me laugh. I mean really y’all, they’re crazy!
• They’re my bridesmaids = )
• I feel better great when I’m around them.
• They’ve been my friends for a reeeaaally long time (Kiera- about 20 years; Brittany- about 12 years; Quinita- about 10 years), and we can go a long time without talking, and pick right up where we left off.

Me, Quinita

• They’re always there in good times and bad. 
• Kiera and I share a love of nail polish.
• Brittany and I are kind of neat freaks (but she’s worse lol).
• Quinita and I both rock our natural hair.
• People often think Kiera, Brittany and I are sisters (I kinda don’t see it though).
• We accept each others’ quirkiness (and we are a pretty quirky bunch).
• They support my goals and ambitions (vice versa).
• If I need to talk/vent, they’re there.
• We love each other no matter what!

Tell me– why do you love your girls?

Jamie Fleming-Dixon

Jamie Fleming-Dixon is the founder and author of ForColoredGurls.com. Her intention is to empower readers, inspire them to live their most fabulous lives and to motivate them to reach for their dreams and goals. This is done through motivational articles and quotes, interviews with women from all walks of life, posts on topics that affect every area of women's lives and more. For more info about Jamie and FCG, email her at info@forcoloredgurls.com.

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