In an article on the Huffington Post, Jag Carrao gives the ‘Five Dating Mistakes Women Make…And How You Can Avoid/Undo Them. I’m just going to post the mistakes and the ‘quick fixes’, you can read the entire story here. I found it to be somewhat…interesting:
Mistake 1: Approaching him first.
Quick fix: If you talked to or asked him out first, you can try to bring back some of the feminine mystique that you lost as the initiator by being a little more mysterious and a little less available.
Mistake 2: Acting overly friendly.Quick fix: Realize that the more you talk about you, the less you will be learning if he is right for you. Find out why you feel the need to be a Chatty Cathy and remember why you’re there- to chill and have a good time.
Mistake 3: Agreeing to last minute dates.
Quick fix: Carrao recommends the “three days in advance” rule from the book The Rules- the guy should call you by Wednesday night to ask you out for Saturday.
Mistake 4: Jumping into a ‘whirlwind romance.’
Quick fix: Begin pacing the relationship. She says if he truly has to see you every day, 24-hour-a day, there’s this arrangement called marriage…let him figure it out!
Mistake 5: Wasting time. According to Carrao, this is one of the biggest and most common mistakes women make, whether it’s a relationship going nowhere or getting over a broken heart.
Quick fix: Know what you want- and believe you are worthy of it. A really good example: Say you want to get married, but your significant other still isn’t sure after a year. Establish a time limit of how long you’ll wait for him to ask and stick to it. When decision day comes, and he’s still not sure or he’s unwilling, move on and do not look back.
Initial thought? Where are the mistakes men make? …but I digress. I mean, some of it I get (accepting last minute dates, jumping into relationships and wasting time). Let’s look at the first one for instance. I think it depends on the reason for approaching a guy. If you’re a party/social gathering, and there are people you don’t know, then what’s wrong with being friendly and introducing yourself to people. Just because you talk to a guy (or vice versa) doesn’t mean you’re interested in dating him..
I totally and completely agree with number five because I’ve been there. Unless, of course, you’re dating for fun and not looking for anything serious.
In my case, I was with this guy, and I wanted (or thought I did) a long-term relationship with him. However, even after three or so years, he basically acted as if he didn’t want to be with me long term (of course he never really actually came out and said it verbatim, but you know what they say, actions speak louder than words). Anyway, me being naïve thought it was just a phase and that he would eventually come to his senses. I mean, we broke up and got back together more than once. Thankfully, I finally realized that I was wasting my time and waiting for something that would never happen. I am happy to say I am with someone who truly wants to be with me. Not only does he tell me, he shows me too : )
What do you think about these mistakes? Are you/have you been guilty of any of them? Do you think they’re that big of a deal?
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Jamie
I’ve made mistake no. 1 before and it did turn out to be a big mistake because it led to him taking me for granted. But that was a special case and I know from others’ experience that it doesn’t always turn out badly. I think all those depend on the personalities of the people involved.
Love your blog and slightly upset with myself that I’ve discvovered it so late but better late than never!
I agree, it doesn’t always turn bad. And thanks for the comment about my blog; I’m glad you found it, too!
P.S.- Yours is pretty awesome as well : )